Abuse of the Elderly
Took me a bit to work this out.
There are multiple signs out there that people are being abused, most of which is covered in the BC Sites
http://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/family-social-supports/seniors/health-safety/protection-from-elder-abuse-and-neglect
http://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/family-social-supports/seniors/health-safety/protection-from-elder-abuse-and-neglect/where-to-get-help
http://www.pssg.gov.bc.ca/victimservices/affect-you/elder-abuse.htm
http://bcceas.ca/
http://www.bcli.org/project/practical-guide-elder-abuse-and-neglect-law-canada
Family members and friends should look for the signs of abuse as listed in the previous links. If you are a friend or family member...speak up.
Further to that for the sake of families please make a written contract to take care of your parents.
Or get the Public Trustee involved to help out
http://www.trustee.bc.ca/Pages/default.aspx
Further to that many elderly do not know that they qualify for different programs that get meds free or lower fees. There is also government funding for seniors above the pensions and there is also transportation available for elderly programs.
I find that it is an abuse to our elderly that they cannot activate these services on their own. The court systems are unnavagatable for most of them especially with handicaps and I find this such an abuse by our governments that is not recognized. There is no help for so many and a lot of them do not get the proper medication which is with holding medications legally.
The funding should kick in automatically and there should be a system for them that looks out for them without someone having to fill out the forms. So much is missed for these poor people that we should be ashamed of how we look after our elderly.
We need to look out for our elderly they are alone at the end. Even if in a crowd.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Abuse of the Elderly
Abuse of the Elderly...
Most people look at abuse in the form of bruises we can see. Black eyes, split lips, bruising on the arms and wrists, or various other places. But with the elderly it can be much more and hidden as most of these poor people die and no one knows of it. You can think that sexual and physical abuse to being the extreme but they can go through so much other abuse and no one knows. It is silent because they are. Predators know this and use it to their advantage.
A lot of mental abuse occurs with this whether implied or outright said. The most common abusive situation and whether someone means this or not to someone with dementia or Alzheimer's or other brain injury to even a physically handicapped person is that the caregiver says plain and simple "Do you want to be put in a care home, Or you had better stop what you are doing or you will go into the home, Or the Old Age Home is calling." This may be said jokingly or maliciously over behavior that that person is unable to control. The fear this brings to them is tremendous and horrible. Then there is the greater form where it is done maliciously saying things like getting rid of granny or dropping them off downtown or into a ditch. To more physical forms of this and taking them for a drive like a case in the US and actually dropping them off in the woods.
Most abusive situations are in the form of people stealing. This can start with just a few simple things that disappear to going for an outing with them and telling them they will leave them if they do not pay. Who is to believe that an elderly person has not misplaced something or broken it and forgotten about it. How many times have you seen someone looking for a car in a parking lot and putting it off to Oldtimers disease. We joke about it. When in reality it is something that could happen to any of us. ANY of us. Lately there have been multiple cases where family members have suspected thefts or assaults and have put in hidden cameras and to their shock and disgust found that their loved one and or suspicions were right.
There are so many out there with no one and are alone and desperate as everything they had is taken including their dignity with assaults common. Common. What a horrible use of that word.
I will leave this here with this link to the government site here.
http://www.pssg.gov.bc.ca/victimservices/shareddocs/ElderAbuse.pdf
One more after this post.
Most people look at abuse in the form of bruises we can see. Black eyes, split lips, bruising on the arms and wrists, or various other places. But with the elderly it can be much more and hidden as most of these poor people die and no one knows of it. You can think that sexual and physical abuse to being the extreme but they can go through so much other abuse and no one knows. It is silent because they are. Predators know this and use it to their advantage.
A lot of mental abuse occurs with this whether implied or outright said. The most common abusive situation and whether someone means this or not to someone with dementia or Alzheimer's or other brain injury to even a physically handicapped person is that the caregiver says plain and simple "Do you want to be put in a care home, Or you had better stop what you are doing or you will go into the home, Or the Old Age Home is calling." This may be said jokingly or maliciously over behavior that that person is unable to control. The fear this brings to them is tremendous and horrible. Then there is the greater form where it is done maliciously saying things like getting rid of granny or dropping them off downtown or into a ditch. To more physical forms of this and taking them for a drive like a case in the US and actually dropping them off in the woods.
Most abusive situations are in the form of people stealing. This can start with just a few simple things that disappear to going for an outing with them and telling them they will leave them if they do not pay. Who is to believe that an elderly person has not misplaced something or broken it and forgotten about it. How many times have you seen someone looking for a car in a parking lot and putting it off to Oldtimers disease. We joke about it. When in reality it is something that could happen to any of us. ANY of us. Lately there have been multiple cases where family members have suspected thefts or assaults and have put in hidden cameras and to their shock and disgust found that their loved one and or suspicions were right.
There are so many out there with no one and are alone and desperate as everything they had is taken including their dignity with assaults common. Common. What a horrible use of that word.
I will leave this here with this link to the government site here.
http://www.pssg.gov.bc.ca/victimservices/shareddocs/ElderAbuse.pdf
One more after this post.
Monday, December 14, 2015
Entitlement
Entitlement: This is the basic meaning of the word: something that you have a right to do or have, or the right to do or have something.
Now when we are "Entitled" to have something it usually means it is a part of a contract with jobs, a Government allotment that you are qualified for, something that is within your legal right to have or use.
When it comes to family it is usually something that you are guaranteed to have or use as well. Mostly in the form of a contract with a wedding or with a deceased person in the form of a will. Though there are other things that have entitlements attached to them.
And here is where it gets to be a sad state of affairs.
People that are "caretakers" of the elderly, a family member or members, doctor, lawyer, or some other person that is care taking gets the idea that what the elderly have because they are the caretaker the one "responsible" for making decisions, whether the inability of that said person due to illness, injury or just old age. They Entitle themselves in the belief that what is belonging to the elderly person they now have a "Right To Take". Sometimes because they feel that person has no need of it. Sometimes greed. It does not matter what is in the will usually as it becomes to them, because they have access, their right and not what is in a will.
On investigation of this ideology, speaking with family members, my own family case, and incidents I looked up, this is a rampant and really disgusting "theft" by taking advantage of the elderly, trust, families, love, and legal loop holes with in the law.
Researching options we found that the government has enacted laws to prevent this. Now looking into this law it is a whole can of rotten worms disguised as a really good thing. I have absolutely no idea how in any form or manner someone that is handicapped by physical, mental or illness is capable of handling, and this is a big problem, and managing to even get a hold of the ministry to make a claim or complaint. The police will not look into it despite it being theft. They will not look into it with the theft of stolen items either if there has been a caretaker and especially family involved. The process is so far out of reach for anyone that it is basically, a sanction legal theft. The elderly have no rights and if they did no recourse if every thing is gone or spent. There is no way to collect on it even if there is a long drawn out court case, two years or more, and they have a winning decision. The length of time to get into court has no benefit to the elderly person and all the benefit to the Thief. Legal fees to fight it in court are horrendous with retainers usually in the $500 to $5000 or more range depending on the amounts disputed. The paper work is also horrendous. If there is no one to assist this is an absolutely daunting task for an able bodied person let alone one with a handicap.
A person that has been certified with dementia or other debilitating disease that makes it incapable for them to even know what is going on can have the caregiver, as above, sign a form and take control of all their life and assets.
When this is questioned by anyone nearly every person I spoke with has said that the person acting as caregiver used the term, as if it were a legality, "entitlement".
Then there is this. The elderly person gives implied consent or says you can use my things or money. He said she said. In a situation of helplessness how do you draw the line from coercion to actual consent. Legally a huge hole in the law and it is not to the good of the elderly person. Legal Theft.
Next up will be forms of abuse...
Now when we are "Entitled" to have something it usually means it is a part of a contract with jobs, a Government allotment that you are qualified for, something that is within your legal right to have or use.
When it comes to family it is usually something that you are guaranteed to have or use as well. Mostly in the form of a contract with a wedding or with a deceased person in the form of a will. Though there are other things that have entitlements attached to them.
And here is where it gets to be a sad state of affairs.
People that are "caretakers" of the elderly, a family member or members, doctor, lawyer, or some other person that is care taking gets the idea that what the elderly have because they are the caretaker the one "responsible" for making decisions, whether the inability of that said person due to illness, injury or just old age. They Entitle themselves in the belief that what is belonging to the elderly person they now have a "Right To Take". Sometimes because they feel that person has no need of it. Sometimes greed. It does not matter what is in the will usually as it becomes to them, because they have access, their right and not what is in a will.
On investigation of this ideology, speaking with family members, my own family case, and incidents I looked up, this is a rampant and really disgusting "theft" by taking advantage of the elderly, trust, families, love, and legal loop holes with in the law.
Researching options we found that the government has enacted laws to prevent this. Now looking into this law it is a whole can of rotten worms disguised as a really good thing. I have absolutely no idea how in any form or manner someone that is handicapped by physical, mental or illness is capable of handling, and this is a big problem, and managing to even get a hold of the ministry to make a claim or complaint. The police will not look into it despite it being theft. They will not look into it with the theft of stolen items either if there has been a caretaker and especially family involved. The process is so far out of reach for anyone that it is basically, a sanction legal theft. The elderly have no rights and if they did no recourse if every thing is gone or spent. There is no way to collect on it even if there is a long drawn out court case, two years or more, and they have a winning decision. The length of time to get into court has no benefit to the elderly person and all the benefit to the Thief. Legal fees to fight it in court are horrendous with retainers usually in the $500 to $5000 or more range depending on the amounts disputed. The paper work is also horrendous. If there is no one to assist this is an absolutely daunting task for an able bodied person let alone one with a handicap.
A person that has been certified with dementia or other debilitating disease that makes it incapable for them to even know what is going on can have the caregiver, as above, sign a form and take control of all their life and assets.
When this is questioned by anyone nearly every person I spoke with has said that the person acting as caregiver used the term, as if it were a legality, "entitlement".
Then there is this. The elderly person gives implied consent or says you can use my things or money. He said she said. In a situation of helplessness how do you draw the line from coercion to actual consent. Legally a huge hole in the law and it is not to the good of the elderly person. Legal Theft.
Next up will be forms of abuse...
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Elder Abuse
... My Mother 2015
In 2008 I went to my Mothers house on one of my many visits to make sure she was okay and to help out a bit with things around the house and on exiting the car I heard the smoke detector going and she had opened her front door. On entering the house I found that she had left the kettle on the stove and the water had burned out. House had smoke in it and she was mad that the stupid smoke detector was making so much noise and her dog was barking about it and running around. Pretty dangerous. She had previously had a couple of falls one that was really quite bad were she had hit her head on the bathtub. Several hospital admissions with a couple of life threatening problems that she overcame. A couple of which may have contributed to her falling etc.
Over the last few years since my dad had died she has slowly deteriorated in her abilities to be able to function properly. She was fairly safe up to the point that she had fallen. This bit with the stove was pretty dangerous.
My sister who lived just up the road was looking after her on a more regular basis that myself. I would go over and cut her grass and do other things maybe once or twice sometimes three times a week or when she called me. My sister dropped in nearly every day.
Until 2004 I had a key to the house after that the locks had been changed due to an issue with a contractor and I had no key to the house and my sister continually forgot to get one. Not a total hard issue as Mom would let me in. I never really thought anything of it but it was annoying.
My sister came to the house a couple of times and while sitting there one time in 2010 mom was making some toast before going out to do some shopping. The toast did not come all the way out and she got really mad and grabbed a knife and was trying to pull the toast out but had not unplugged the toaster. Totally out of character. My sister jumped up and unplugged it and I guess they had a heated argument and mom refused to go with her kicking her out of the house. After that Mom would not answer the door for her sometimes. This I thought to be a bit weird but probably due to some issues medically, which she had including a uterine cancer that was caught. We had a few other episodes that we had caught including a fall in the garden caught by her neighbors that was pretty bad. On several visits since 2008 she had said to me that she was so annoyed as everyone was always taking her money, had so many bills and she had lost so much money in her stocks. I was not privy to more information as she said my sister had it under control and was fixing it with her financial adviser.
The warning signs were all there, my trust overshadowed what I had heard.
Trust:
From Merriam Webster:
belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
an arrangement in which someone's property or money is legally held or managed by someone else or by an organization (such as a bank) for usually a set period of time: an organization that results from the creation of a trust
Yes, "irregardless" is a word.
No, that doesn't mean you should use it. »
Full Definition of TRUST
1a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
b : one in which confidence is placed
2a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope
b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit
3a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another
My
4archaic : trustworthiness
5a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another
b : responsible charge or office
c : care, custody
— in trust
: in the care or possession of a trustee
Further to the actual definition of Trust, I put my trust in my sister and her family to look after Mom. We discussed her paying rent and stuff, out of her monthly pension monies, which was okay. We discussed her care, which she had at this point some pretty good dementia, which appeared to have been coming on since my Dad had died but it was not in my mind an urgent issue, and also had some mobility issues. I would help out as needed and everything seemed to be working out. She then moved to my sisters house. At the time I had no issues with that. My Mom was being taken care of.
As time went on there was a marked decline in my Moms health. There was also a marked decline in my ability to see my mom. They were seemingly always busy with school, dance and other things with the kids. I did not really think too much of it because we all have busy lives. The visits went from once to three times a week to about every three months on my own, though I tried for a lot more, and several times of helping my sister with problems while her husband was out of province working. We made sure we went to Boxing Day dinners at my sisters. Over the last year of my sisters life I was basically unable to visit hardly at all.
During this time my sister had trouble with her Van which I had to fix a couple of times and rescue her once while broken down on the highway. I was a little surprised to see her get a brand new expensive SUV and my Brother In Law had also bought a new truck prior to that. The kids all had the newest phones, ATVs, gaming consoles etc. I still put this off to just my Brother In Law being able to afford it with his work in the oil fields and mom paying rent and my sisters babysitting business. (Which I very seldom saw kids there.) I just figured they were doing okay.
In 2011 my mom sold her house. She was clear with $235,000 in the bank. As she also had money from her investments (so I thought) from my dad and her savings, I figured she would do okay and be able to have some good care when it came time to make that decision. The house money when I talked to my sister was to go in the Moms saving account and placed into her investments. As she had a financial adviser I figured this would be great for her later in life as she needed care.
I guess it had already started after my Dad died. I recently found out that when anyone asked about me to my sister I was made out to be uncaring and never around. These comments had continued especially at functions like weddings or whatever that I was unable to attend due to work or bad injury that had me unable to do anything for a couple of years. Despite that I had made sure I visited mom and my sister on a regular basis.
Interestingly enough when her husband was out of town working which he is a lot or off fishing and something happened like a flat or car did not start or house floods, other commitments she had and could not ferry around mother to doctors, etc. I was always called to step in and did.
I am not making a case to justify myself here, just the point that in their minds they could justify to themselves their own entitlement.
That brings up another word "Entitlement".
I will leave this here for the time and put up another Blog on this starting with Entitlement issues.
In 2008 I went to my Mothers house on one of my many visits to make sure she was okay and to help out a bit with things around the house and on exiting the car I heard the smoke detector going and she had opened her front door. On entering the house I found that she had left the kettle on the stove and the water had burned out. House had smoke in it and she was mad that the stupid smoke detector was making so much noise and her dog was barking about it and running around. Pretty dangerous. She had previously had a couple of falls one that was really quite bad were she had hit her head on the bathtub. Several hospital admissions with a couple of life threatening problems that she overcame. A couple of which may have contributed to her falling etc.
Over the last few years since my dad had died she has slowly deteriorated in her abilities to be able to function properly. She was fairly safe up to the point that she had fallen. This bit with the stove was pretty dangerous.
My sister who lived just up the road was looking after her on a more regular basis that myself. I would go over and cut her grass and do other things maybe once or twice sometimes three times a week or when she called me. My sister dropped in nearly every day.
Until 2004 I had a key to the house after that the locks had been changed due to an issue with a contractor and I had no key to the house and my sister continually forgot to get one. Not a total hard issue as Mom would let me in. I never really thought anything of it but it was annoying.
My sister came to the house a couple of times and while sitting there one time in 2010 mom was making some toast before going out to do some shopping. The toast did not come all the way out and she got really mad and grabbed a knife and was trying to pull the toast out but had not unplugged the toaster. Totally out of character. My sister jumped up and unplugged it and I guess they had a heated argument and mom refused to go with her kicking her out of the house. After that Mom would not answer the door for her sometimes. This I thought to be a bit weird but probably due to some issues medically, which she had including a uterine cancer that was caught. We had a few other episodes that we had caught including a fall in the garden caught by her neighbors that was pretty bad. On several visits since 2008 she had said to me that she was so annoyed as everyone was always taking her money, had so many bills and she had lost so much money in her stocks. I was not privy to more information as she said my sister had it under control and was fixing it with her financial adviser.
The warning signs were all there, my trust overshadowed what I had heard.
Trust:
From Merriam Webster:
belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
an arrangement in which someone's property or money is legally held or managed by someone else or by an organization (such as a bank) for usually a set period of time: an organization that results from the creation of a trust
Yes, "irregardless" is a word.
No, that doesn't mean you should use it. »
Full Definition of TRUST
1a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
b : one in which confidence is placed
2a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope
b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit
3a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another
My
4archaic : trustworthiness
5a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another
b : responsible charge or office
c : care, custody
— in trust
: in the care or possession of a trustee
Further to the actual definition of Trust, I put my trust in my sister and her family to look after Mom. We discussed her paying rent and stuff, out of her monthly pension monies, which was okay. We discussed her care, which she had at this point some pretty good dementia, which appeared to have been coming on since my Dad had died but it was not in my mind an urgent issue, and also had some mobility issues. I would help out as needed and everything seemed to be working out. She then moved to my sisters house. At the time I had no issues with that. My Mom was being taken care of.
As time went on there was a marked decline in my Moms health. There was also a marked decline in my ability to see my mom. They were seemingly always busy with school, dance and other things with the kids. I did not really think too much of it because we all have busy lives. The visits went from once to three times a week to about every three months on my own, though I tried for a lot more, and several times of helping my sister with problems while her husband was out of province working. We made sure we went to Boxing Day dinners at my sisters. Over the last year of my sisters life I was basically unable to visit hardly at all.
During this time my sister had trouble with her Van which I had to fix a couple of times and rescue her once while broken down on the highway. I was a little surprised to see her get a brand new expensive SUV and my Brother In Law had also bought a new truck prior to that. The kids all had the newest phones, ATVs, gaming consoles etc. I still put this off to just my Brother In Law being able to afford it with his work in the oil fields and mom paying rent and my sisters babysitting business. (Which I very seldom saw kids there.) I just figured they were doing okay.
In 2011 my mom sold her house. She was clear with $235,000 in the bank. As she also had money from her investments (so I thought) from my dad and her savings, I figured she would do okay and be able to have some good care when it came time to make that decision. The house money when I talked to my sister was to go in the Moms saving account and placed into her investments. As she had a financial adviser I figured this would be great for her later in life as she needed care.
I guess it had already started after my Dad died. I recently found out that when anyone asked about me to my sister I was made out to be uncaring and never around. These comments had continued especially at functions like weddings or whatever that I was unable to attend due to work or bad injury that had me unable to do anything for a couple of years. Despite that I had made sure I visited mom and my sister on a regular basis.
Interestingly enough when her husband was out of town working which he is a lot or off fishing and something happened like a flat or car did not start or house floods, other commitments she had and could not ferry around mother to doctors, etc. I was always called to step in and did.
I am not making a case to justify myself here, just the point that in their minds they could justify to themselves their own entitlement.
That brings up another word "Entitlement".
I will leave this here for the time and put up another Blog on this starting with Entitlement issues.
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